I have never been so low.  Even when I was living in Westbury, which was a pretty low time for me, I was still in a better place. This month is going to be ridiculously hard.

I emptied my retirement account today, mostly so that I could afford to pay my car insurance. I dont understand how ppl get thru. I dont want to quit but really I dont know how much longer I can keep scrapping the bottom of the barrel.

Its October, so I'm barely sleeping. The dreams have been getting pretty intense.

Sometimes I think I love you, and than I remember everything you've ever said, and remind myself how stupid could I ever be to allow that.

I just want to cuddle and cry, but theres no time for that anymore. I gotta work tomorrow!

I really really miss my apartment